my mouth tastes like poor choices
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
