worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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