That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
