I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
