woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize