I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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