I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
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As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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