I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
