The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just google imaged poop.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
