Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
