Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Randomize
