Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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