I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
