Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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