Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
