So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
