i'm signing you up for texting rehab
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
