if you like me you must not know who I am
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
