Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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