So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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