she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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