We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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