let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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