guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just gift wrapped bread.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
