i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
