Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
