i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
