His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
