i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
