Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We have started to decorate penises.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
