Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
