I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
