I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize