idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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