My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
