so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
