thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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