Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize