Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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