They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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