:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
