Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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