so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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