I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
