Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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