Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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