i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
