Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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