It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Randomize
