come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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