I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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