he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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