Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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