I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
