This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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