he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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