I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
