Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sorry my hands just texted you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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