Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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