bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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