Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
high people should be assigned attendants
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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