I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
