So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
