And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
