So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
