In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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