That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
