I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
